Following text is mainly intended for those who are curious about Christian spiritual practices, consider becoming a monk or a priest or are already in the monastery (but do not give up, it is not so hopeless although😊).
Unfortunately, the Christianity, as a spiritual movement, went bankrupt under emperor Constantine. As soon as it became an official organization the focus has been moved from inner world, seeking purity, peace, liberation and enlightenment to establishment and development of the organization, dogmas, rules, seeking more power and more influence.
The Christian spiritual tradition emerges as enthusiastic people heard history about Jesus start seeking union with God. During the first ages of Christianity the people expected soon end of the of the world and thus changed their focus from planning and investing into the future towards preparation to the soon meeting with God. This state of mind has boosted the emergence of monastic tradition.
During first ages of Christianity we can see explosive establishing and growths of monasteries. All this started in Egypt, by so called Desert Fathers (and Mothers of course). You have probably heard such names as Antonius the Great, Macarios of Egypt, Poemen etc.
These people decided to seek spiritual development, withdrew themselves from the society, became hermits in the desert, living ascetic life, practicing hesychasm (silence).
There some sayings of these desert fathers survived to the present time (although unclear how of this is forgery or later interpretation). It is noteworthy to mention at least a couple of such sayings that show principles of inner development, self-analysis and growths (From “Sayings of the Desert Fathers”).
“Take care to be silent. Empty your mind.”
“A man who keeps death before his eyes will at all times overcome his cowardliness.”
“Whoever hammers a lump of iron, first decides what he is going to make of it, a scythe, a sword, or an axe. Even so we ought to make up our minds what kind of virtue we want to forge or we labour in vain”
Unfortunately, the Christianity, as a spiritual movement, went bankrupt under emperor Constantine. As soon as it became an official organization the focus has been moved from inner world, seeking purity, peace, liberation and enlightenment to establishment and development of the organization, dogmas, rules, seeking more power and more influence.
Almost all efforts in the Church were dedicated to growth, proselytism, elaboration of dogmas, rites and other standards of faith. No more focus on your inner world; you serve God, (as if he needed your service at all) and obey the organization and follow established standards of thinking. As time goes, these rules, regulations, faith standards become a tradition, a holy cow, and these days almost nobody understands the real purpose of all this system anymore. You just go to church because you have to.
The first Desert Fathers (and Mothers, of course) made a foundation for the monastic life, that continues to exist until our days. However, the idea of inner growth, self-analysis, path to purity and harmony is lost and substituted by many rules, regulations, traditions, fixed unalterable dogmas and archaic way of thinking.
In present world if you are to be a monk or a nun you are supposed to withdraw from the society, and spend your life in a cell in a monastery. You will perform a fixed set of rites, live by fixed routine, repent and confess your sins in hope to be forgiven and accepted by God and finally arrive safely to the paradise.
However in reality everything is quite different. First of all, it is not possible to withdraw from the society completely. The society comes to your cell in form of internet, mobile phone, TV or other contacts with external world. There is no monastery without internet and mobile phones (except some minor examples).
Further, the rites, the routines were elaborated for many hundreds years ago and supposed to fit all. Nobody really understands the purpose of all these actions and the goal that you are supposed to achieve is unclear foggy and mainly based on imagination.
The initial condition in Christian tradition is that you are bad, wrong, sinful and you have to heal your sin, your nature by obeying Church, attending Mass, or, best of all, become a monk or a nun. The Church sometimes called a hospital where you can get cure from all your sins. However, in my opinion, Church is a hospice, that gives light psychological comfort, but unable to heal you, because it neither has working instruments and medicine nor understands real human nature.
Some Christian orders or societies (also valid for many other religious cults) with especially harsh regulations have more militant approach to such “healing” of the soul. All the contacts with the external world are not allowed. Your personality and free will is dominated by the teachers and established norms of behaviour. The person is made a prisoner of rules and fixed thinking patterns. No acceptance of own body, its natural needs and desires. Your minds are dirty and by confessing them you are supposed to heal your mind (analogy to method of free associations in psychology, with the main difference that you perceive your mind some evil and dirty in the monastery.)
Literally you become a servant of monastic management, rules, ideas of dominating (although loving) god and possible punishment. Main focus of contemplation is God, some traditions promote meditation on eternal infernal tortures. However, everything you imagine or think of God is wrong! Your contemplation, prayer is based on your imagination of God, that was influenced by some old, unclear scriptures and the religious tradition.
Many procedures, routines and principles are inherited from old times, when they probably were necessary, but no do not have any purpose anymore or give you any concrete benefit. However, church is afraid to get rid or alter these “holy” practices. Nobody understands the real purpose of all these rites anymore, nobody understands what these practices will bring you. All that you hear is that such is a tradition, it was established by some holy person for couple of hundreds years ago and similar.
You are put in a constraint environment with other arbitrary people and you are supposed to stay all your entire life there. Deprivation of contact with the external world, denial of own human nature, your needs and desires. An environment that goes against your freedom and free will, against your nature and harmony with the external world. Living in such environments, constantly fighting with yourself, regretting your “sins”, trying to achieve an imaginary and unachievable ideal will give you nothing more that a depression and neurosis.
No wonder we hear every now and then scandals about abuse, molestation and in monasteries and congregations. Because you cannot win over human nature! If you suppress it, it will find its way out in most unpleasant and unacceptable way.
As an example I can mention a huge job performed by Polish journalists. They investigated huge amount of cases of sexual abuse and molestation of children in Polish parishes and created a map where you can see all the cases with brief history. Unfortunately it is in Polish language, but it gives you an impression of prevalence of this phenomena in one country, which was one of the most catholic countries in the world.
You can see the map here (Source: http://mapakoscielnejpedofilii.pl/).
At the present moment there are around 3600 Catholic monasteries and around 500 Eastern Orthodox monasteries in the world (Source: Wikipedia). The amount of parishes, and churches in the world is unclear. So you can just imagine the real scale of this tragedy. Sexual abuse in Christianity is a symptom of something wrong in the system. The rites, routines, standards of thinking are not working. Because they are not based on reality, rather on imaginary pictures of God, old foggy book and fantasies about paradise and hell. The Christian spiritual path is a blind way, you are not going to achieve “holiness”, purity or absolution of the sins there.
The idea of absolution of sins is wrong from the very beginning. The principle is based on Christ saying “whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Mt 16:18). It is interpreted by the Church that the priests have some special power given by God (how?) to forgive and abolish your sins. This does not make any sense! It is naïve to think that a person in special clothes, saying special words during a specific ceremony will liberate you from guilt, anger, regret, uncertainty, frustration. Only you are able to do this. No external person will make you to forgive yourself, to free your mind from your perceived sin. If you do not forgive yourself, all priests and popes in the world will not be able to give you forgiveness.
On the other hand, the saying from Mt 16:18 works perfectly well if applied to all people. Indeed, what you bind inside of you, will always remain with you. If you are unable to forgive yourself, or somebody who insulted you, you will carry this feeling all your life. But if you, through inner work and processing are ready to release the feelings of guilt, or insult, or anger, you will be released from these emotions. No one external has any power on your inner world, not even God. You are the owner of your mind and feelings, actions and consequences.
Concluding words to those who are anyway interested in monastic life, or maybe probably are already in a monastery. Make sure you are aware of life there. Make sure your decision is based on your own will, desire and clear goal you want to achieve living such life. You have to have a strong personality, and strong will in order to survive in monastic environment. Because all your own will, your personality will be dominated and beaten out of you by monastic practices. You have to become Gods servant, a sheep, an obedient slave, but not a free person as you are actually supposed to be. Do not give your life to an organization. By taking responsibility and ownership for your own life, you can achieve your goals (spiritual and practical) as you wish and in a way that is best suited for your personality and not by following archaic procedures in a prison-like society.
Concluding words for many people that come to monasteries or parishes to seek advice in difficult life situations. Most probably, you are going to meet a person who spent his/her life in often meaningless fight against their own nature, against the world and sometimes against the reality. It is very seldom you meet a person who realized the purpose and meaning of his own life and found his own path. Usually, you meet a kind, and seeking person, basing his assessment on old scriptures and archaic principles, and desperately trying to explain all confusions and contradictions arising in his head when he meets reality.
What kind of advice do you expect there? Isn’t it better to seek advice from a person that has real life experience, that went through many difficulties, that found his/her own path and clearly understands his own Self?
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